Wrong war, pal.

I always trust my local dogfighter when he says his dogs are all looked after in luxury hotels.

That’s his pee. He’s not allowed to leave any DNA evidence anywhere so he must take his urine with him when he leaves somewhere.

If I had a handful of Trumps and I told you at least three would steal lemonade.

Well folks, it finally happened. The NRA warned us all but I didn’t believe them. Last night as I was watching the debate there was a knock on my door. This startled me since I didn’t buzz anyone up. Maybe it was a neighbor who needed something? I ask who is it as I check the peephole and it was President Obama! At…

Yes, but it’s a MALE helicopter, which is sooooo much better then those emasculating, browbeating female ones. It also fits perfectly into the “silent dad” narrative, where kids like he was in the sixties grew up watching Bambi’s dad stare at him from a crag, then run off, as the epitome of good parenting. Do one…

Silicon Valley “big think” checklist:

If your grandma is getting you a car for christmas don’t talk back you spoiled bish.

Harsh. I thought it looked gorgeous.

Q: How do you like them apples?

I wonder what 1998 Matt Damon is whispering in his ear. Something sultry, no doubt.

Troll level 2/10. Would not bang.

I’m a bit shocked that someone with such a smart, nuanced username is such a dickhead.

YOU’RE TAKING ALL MY STARS

So that’s why her dad hates Obama.

Not a story. Ten years ago? She’s totally checked that off the last by now.

These clowns took it upon themselves to do this. In no way shape or form did Obama ever even suggest anyone do this. Trump on the other hand is basically calling people to arms. Understand the difference?

C’mon now you are really being harsh to a dumb coward. Peguinsftw is just a pathetic sad little bigot who is terrified by anything different than him. You should feel sympathy for that pathetic, scared, loser.

Fuck you for perpetuating this bullshit.

lighten up dummy