Skip forward to a concert venue with 50,000 people and they all suddenly collapse at the end of “Gallway Girl” and Ed Sheeran pulls his face off to reveal Arya.

This whole story was so blatantly ridiculous that I was surprised it wasn’t an email forward from my mother

Bless his heart. Trying to get sober, dies in the process. What a fucking tragedy.

ARTISAN. CHEDDAR. BOB.

Oh no guys, artisan cheddarbob spilled his hot starbucks all over his lap.

I’ve always wondered how much energy would be conserved if offices didn’t have to air condition themselves into refrigerator territory because men are forced to wear suits and ties to work. I say this while sitting in my office, in Florida, in July, wearing a sweater because it’s freezing. Let men and women wear…

How come women can’t go sleeveless when Paul Ryan is allowed to go spineless?

The cruelty in those pictures is astounding. Everyone just stood around watching Christie instead of trying to save him by rolling him back into the ocean.

I don’t suppose it matters on the birth certificate, but it does seem a little foolish to just pretend sex has no relationship to health. You don’t need to force anything on a child, but that is medically necessary information regardless of what gender, if any, the child identifies with.

This is one of my favorite moments in popular culture history. I am a “chicken or tuna” evangelist and will force anyone I know who hasn’t seen it to sit down and watch it. Nick’s double-take is perfection. You can virtually see his life flashing before his eyes.

I refuse to acknowledge requests for read receipts.

One sure sign this is correct: every single person (read: psycho) that has an inspirational quote in their email signature uses some odd ass font for the quote. Exponential crazy.

Wingdings is the only approved alternative email font. 

I just saw the footage a little while ago, and I just feel sick. How terrifying are black men in the average persons mind? Just how pathologized is blackness that this very calm and polite man could be murdered after just a few brief seconds? It’s horrifying. I honestly don’t know what I can do that won’t make it even…

much like children, buttholes should be seen, yet not heard.

He must have dropped it in the toilet and now has it sitting in a ziplock of rice.

TwitterAudit Says 67 Million of Katy Perry’s Followers Are Fake

If the Schumacher’s don’t exist, then how does Johnny dramatically leave and return for the big dance number?

The DA is mind boogling. She is the worst liar of all time! “Whaaaaa??? Child porn? Pffft not to my recollection, but then again I didn’t like look at ALL of it be for I burnt it ...err i mean before it was misplaced ....cause reasons....but I’m so not Catholic so I’m obviously not covering anything up!!!?

This reminds me, Can’t wait for more perfect.