I can’t believe Genie in a Bottle was never number 1! Summer/fall 1999 was when I moved to a town that we actually got MTV (I grew up with VH1 only, which my parents didn’t let us watch—I guess they were worried about the scandalous Celine Dion videos) and Britney and Christina were the motherfucking queens of TRL. I…

This means that I thought you looked cool as fuck when I was in junior high.

It’s on my current phone in iTunes. No shame. (Okay, a little, but I still like to party with Ricky like it’s 1999.) SHE! WILL! WEAR! YOU OUT!

A lot of the songs on the list I hated at the time because they were in heavy rotation on the radio and in clubs.

As an Old, I can assure you the majority of these songs are uniformly terrible. It’s ok. I wore shorts over long johns and Doc Martens from 90-93.

Come on now, “Livin’ La Vida Loca” isn’t on here and I distinctly remember going to Times Square to like, see his back from two blocks away back in 1999.

I volunteer my father as tribute.

Hmm, my takeaway is that if I want to lose weight, I just need to kill my father. Or... someone’s father. Any father will do, really.

That’s what gets me - there are so many things a deceased person would want to share, and THIS is what he says? Not “hey, it’s awesome over here, they’ve got unlimited apps” or “tell your mother the lock combo is 5-16-28" or “avenge me” or any other really profound statement. But this guy chooses weight loss.

Dead helicopter parents gonna keep helicopterin’.

Concern trolling from the beyond. Dad needs to get an afterlife.

And this is Nermal.

My mom is a retired interior designer. When this asspuppet won the election, my mother fearfully exclaimed of the Trumps, “[eejm]! What are those people going to do to the White House?!??!”

32 weeks checking in. Start your Kegels NOW

This, however is Normal:

He’s trying to make it look like he’s so busy and presidential.

I’m 10 weeks pregnant - first time - and that 9 month pic has me *internally screaming*

I think he’s testing the waters honestly. I don’t recall a president speaking out so soon after a new administration has taken office to encourage people to continue protesting. I imagine there are some very serious, high-level conversations going on - and even the Koch brothers aren’t happy about this shit right…

Or, a coalition of former Presidents ?