That why you pack your liquids bag w/ little bottles of booze.

The dream of getting hammered at the airport and the reality of getting hammered at the airport are two totally different things.

“Breathtaking” is the response.

I lived ~15 blocks from a zoo once, and got a year pass. I’d get baked and go wander around for an hour or two — it was glorious. Relaxing, go often enough that you didn’t feel like you had to see everything, and it makes it so you’re willing to go in the winter when half the animals aren’t out an visible.

Just for a second I thought that Pitbull came in and led the stadium to an a capella anthem. Juuuuust for a second

Ya know, I just get this feeling that Ronaldo watches his son mercilessly troll him and everyone in earshot, and goes to bed that night with nothing but beaming pride, knowing that the art will not be lost to the next generation.

But they don’t own Jose Jormp-Jomp, do they?

This comment I’m about to make is way too earnest, but growing up watching soccer in NYC, I was always impressed with the diligence of the Italian announcers on RAI channel 25, who always got every name right in every language. The even add in regional accents—I’m Uruguayan, and they would call Marcelo Zalayeta…

Whimmy wham wham wazzle

> Soccer needs aggregate scoring because teams don’t score enough. I SAY WE DOUBLE THE NET SIZE.

That wouldn’t help, they would find this shit hilarious

Is it just me or are Atletico’s player names in comic sans on their uniforms?