Sometimes, when the atmospheric conditions in Arizona are just right, the fire alarm levers pull themselves.

PR PR PR.
After a report that Kraft is like an executive baby sitter that totes around Goodell showing him the ropes and putting out fires for him, this hard talking seems like pure conjecture.

The would-be stabber told the cops he was merely escorting his fellow Seahawks fan back to C section.

When Bill Bellichick heard the news of this report earlier tonight, he promptly fired the team's equipment manager for failing to do his fucking job right by not under-inflating that 12th goddamned football.

"We shall come over."

Here's an honest question: Why do people have a problem with this? He's not wrong; the media absolutely went Henny Penny on the Seahawks when they weren't winning every game. With Baldwin, Sherman and Lynch, the Seahawks have had a decent amount of heat from the media and the NFL. Is it the stodgy NFL mentality that…

Oh man, I used to love listening to Mitch Hedberg.

HE WILL HAVE WORDS WITH THEE

Any idiot can write a game recap if they actually watched the game. You don't need Marshawn Lynch, who obviously isn't going to give you shit to write about, to recap the game for you. It's lazy fucking journalism, they're just looking for a soundbite to throw into the piece they've already written.

Look at this shit from when he was going into the draft... These questions are garbage and he still answers them pretty well. This is the inception of beast mode btw - STUPID FAST!

Beat the Broncos, Packers, Eagles. Tops offenses. NE lost to Green Bay, one of the worst defense.

How'd that work out for Denver last year?

And the worst part is that, at the end of this, the fucking Patriots are gonna win another championship. They're clearly the best team. It's horrible.

Ah, another member of the well-regulated militia, who needs his guns to protect us from government tyranny. Fight on, noble sir, fight on!

Scott thinks umpires aren't ruining baseball. Would like to see him say that with a straight face.

That's the rudest hello I've seen towards a Newman in about 16 years.

"No time for sunblock—have to collect more bracelets!"

I love all of the "seriousness" of your comment. If you honestly think that that hit is equivalent to all of the other contact in football, I hope to god you never coach or referee the game in any capacity.