As soon as I saw this happen live, I knew it’d be on Deadspin. Totally deserves it.

Most definitely losing your mind. He jumped straight up, meaning he came straight down, meaning there was no “momentum” in that direction. He also staggered forward into the player for a solid three seconds, when he could have taken one step backwards and been out of the way.

Do you think the Ravens should have lost draft picks and been fined?

This is fuckin’ dumb—just an awesomely convenient excuse to try and lose his contract. If he was still running out a .900 OPS, Mike Scioscia would be chopping up lines FOR him.

I know you're making a joke—and it was solid—but it's actually true. When Felix lost significant weight one offseason, he also lost 2-3 mph on the fastball. I mean he was still great, but...

As a die-hard M's fan who watches their every move and moment: He lost way more like 80 pounds.

Don't be surprised if that report ends up being premature and not entirely true.

I find people who immediately and passionately dismiss ANY conspiracy theory just as stupid as those who immediately and passionately believe every conspiracy theory. The smartest people don't assume they know everything.

Anyone who thinks he wants attention is alarmingly ignorant.

Sounds like a Scattergories argument.

I assume the NFL would account for that and not have balls inflated to the bare minimum PSI for cold-weather games.

Also, this is a fantastic article.

"Gallon" is a unit of liquid volume. 231 cubic inches of pickled dicks?

11th in the league in scoring. People naively think their offense is bad because the D gets so much attention.

I do not agree with this "consent must be given" line. I know everything at DS has to be black and white... But when you're lucky enough to have sex with a lady, do you always say "ok, I'm putting penis in now! Is that ok??" Sometimes there's not a lot of talking, let alone waivers signed.

"...current stars Cam Newton (shut up), Ben Roethlisberger (shut up again), and Russell Wilson."

ESPN

They misspelled "alligators."

If someone comes and screams in your face, and then you punch them, that is not a cheap shot.

Or are the Bears behind them!?