Well in order for that to be true you’d have to believe that all football players committing felonies are black. But then, that’d make you racist.

In fairness, he kinda fit in with the Patriot Way rather well...

If you are a patriots fan, you should feel shame regardless.

Fuck Bill Simmons with the tape of Bob Kraft getting a hand job.

Ya know, if we just cut out the middle man and started a nationally televised Prison Football League we could finally watch all of our favorite NFL stars in their prime guilt-free.

No, they just signed him after the Oakland issues, the Pittsburgh outbursts, the multiple DV police calls, the hotel meltdown.  Let's not over praise an employer who decided not to deal with a knucklehead employee. 

As fucked up as it sounds, Brown might be the one guy who might help the XFL last for more than a handful of games next year. Unlike Bill Belichick, Vince McMahon has no problems with answering non-football related questions lol 

The two character issues the Patriots can’t solve:

Why the fuck would the Chiefs want him? He doesnt know their system, isnt fast enough to keep up with the rest of the receivers, and he is a huge asshole that gets along with no one

You sweet summer child. 

AB to the XFL makes too much sense at this point. 

I reached out to Antonio Brown for comment, but succeeded only in getting my arm wet in the toilet.

A) Good

NFL: here is a bajillion dollars. All you have to do is not be a despicable moron for few years, we good?

Good. Even as a Pats fan it was really disheartening to see some other fans do moral gymnastics to defend his dipshit actions. Fuck him

Well look at the bright side— literally hundreds fewer women had to be raped before somebody at Michigan State noticed this time! I mean, that’s progress no matter which way you look at it.

The only surprising news in this report is the part where a talented athlete went to prison for sexual assault.

Dantonio screwed up, sure. But college football coaches putting winning above the safety of students at their school is nothing new.

Alternate headline:

Exactly. That’s why it’s weird when people bag so hard on MLS when your average MLS team is just as good as the 13th place punching bag in the top European leagues. The teams at the top are much better than all the others in the world, but once you go a bit down the ladder, they’re all pretty equivalent.