Very disappointed in you, Burneko. I mean, subtle plagiarism is one thing, but lifting your title straight from the Ford Field home locker room walls?

On behalf of all Texans, please let me be the first to say:

This is a microcosm for something. Idk why but I’m fucking dying at this. Crying laughing literally.

Because it’s better than selling your soul and living in Dallas.

Center right? Do you know what that means? Here's some example of center right politicians: John Kasich, Chris Christie, John Hunstman, Mitt Romney, John McCain, Carly Fiorina. Obama is none of those and has stark different politics.

You’re right. Bernie Sanders can’t save black people. And you don’t need to worry about it. Hillary is going to be president and maintain the same center-right politics that have been in place for 8 years. Welcome to America.

You mean Lhense Flayre, the dreaded bounty hunter who uses bright light to blind his quarry into submission.

I still suspect that Kylo Ren is Ezra Bridger. He’s the perfect parallel to Luke.

When I did this, I even gave the home team 3/5 probability, but I didn’t adjust for current win percentage, or home field win percentage. These are still probably pretty accurate, except not every day is a 15 game day.

Odds of this happening on a given night (assuming all teams are of equal ability) are 1/32,768 i.e. = (1/2)^15

I’d call this the worst case of a guy with an unpronounceable name destroying a Jet in New York, but…well, you know.

I don’t think it’s that shortsighted. He was set to make $585,000 this year, and assuming he now is forfeiting the $600 for the plane ticket (and would’ve surely received remuneration absent the punch) brings the total to $585,600. If we assume lost future salary of, say $1 mil a year for say 10 years (being quite…

I missed the punchline.

Gotta love a Man from U.N.C.L.E. movie where a British guy plays the American and an American guy plays the Russian.

Les Misérables

I don’t think the inherently violent job of being an NFL player and your job creating TPS reports at a desk is an apples to apples comparison.

This sketch does not get nearly enough praise, but I think it might be his best:

Ward left his car with a race in progress and the toxicology report indicated he was “under the influence of marijuana at a high enough level to impair judgment.” A grand jury declined to indict Stewart on criminal charges related to the incident. I don’t see a whole lot of merit to this case.

I don't wish any more grief for this family, but I hope they lose this case handily.