Perfect, i'll be in my Parisian Night Suit.

Thank you. I'm here all week. Don't try the veal, you baby murdering monsters.

Man, when it comes to funny, Mohr is less, amirite?

I didn't know it was a reality show, much less that it was on A&E. I just saw oblique references to Duck Dynasty that provided no context. So thanks for not being an ass. Oooooooooooooo...you were an ass. Got it.

I have to make a confession. Until the homophobia and racism debacle, I thought Duck Dynasty was a reference to Scrooge McDuck. Seriously. I thought it was like a hipster thing to be ironically into it or something.

I don't think you know what hearsay is.

I sincerely hope the end result of this article being published is Priefer being unemployable as an NFL coach.

For anyone playing along at home that hasn't figured it out yet, that is why it isn't okay to use audio from this disaster this way.

Only Mummers outfit worth discussing.

It definitely is/was a funny joke — the visual imagery had me smiling — but Doug's done the smart thing here by acknowledging the sheer coincidence of it all. *Unsettling* really is the right word to describe it.

I think Doug probably wants to make sure that people realize he didn't know that Uncle Phil was dead when he wrote that joke.

Because Doug made a joke about Uncle Phil throwing Jazz offstage. It actually was a good joke, just poor timing.

Back 'atcha!

Happy New Year!

Awwww yeah. I have an entire folder of Empire Records gifs that I will use any opportunity to bust out.

EMPIRE RECORDS GIF PARTY

What is with you today?

No way, man! Axl would spin the wheel, take aim, pound on the gas... and take that sucker out!

If Axl Rose showed up to rent an apartment from you, what would you do?