Was it racist for Obama to say “monkey around”?

No, I blame brown-eyed people. The vast majority of Trump voters were brown-eyed people. If you have brown eyes, you are trash.

Nice camel-toe!

No one is against legal immigration.

Stop lying. I often read about black women who die in police custody:

“European Australian” is a euphemism for homosexual.

Wow, you read my white mind! Nice!

Don’t bring Katy Perry into this, I love her music!

Did he do a kino-check?

My aunt called her pussy her “muffin”.

I wish Asia Argento had molested me while I was doing my WWII history homework. I would have made like the Japanese and invaded Asia.

There isn’t much risk if you, for example, carry a credit card balance of approximately $2K a month but also keep, for example, $50K in the bank at all times.

Not necessarily. If you lay out a large sum of money you have to consider the opportunity cost of not having the money. If, for example, you could earn more interest on your money by investing it than the cost of interest on the car loan, it would actually make more sense not to pay in cash.

Louis CK seems to enjoy dangling things in front of people.

Reminds me of this:

Yeah, those were...haunting. I remember how they would have microphones on the hookers and the guy would be in the car across the street with the camera.

I was 16 in 1990 and these shows were VERY educational. I saw the episode where the women masturbated in a circle and I assumed that is how most girls’ sleepovers and cheer-leading squad tryouts went down.

Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

I know! If someone wears something that offends me, I should be able to steal it and assault them!!! It is like these evil Trump supporters planned all this to trick me into assaulting them and then they have the nerve to blame me!