“Get a load of this cool motherfucker.”

Pssht, I don’t appreciate that table!

Unappreciated by whom, Joanna? By you and the rest of the media? Because unlike you elitists, honest, hardworking Americans have been appreciating the hell out of that table for years.

(reads explanation) (eyes glaze over)

For real though...it might all be worth it if McConaughey was the voice of the Lincoln Nav system and just fucked with you.

I went to Nerlens once. Me and some frernds were there for Merdi Grer.

Moose licking your car leads to other things.

Just wait until senility kicks in and then you can buy him whatever you want.

People need to stop with this shit. My dad is going to start expecting my brother and I to restore some old Bronco and it ain’t happening.

Some people just REALLY want to get out of Detroit.

This might be enough to cause the Chargers to bolt.

On the bright side, this should give the Rams some added leverage when negotiating Fisher’s next contract. 

This is probably the same snowplow driver.

My heart goes out to his faamily.

Congratulations, Mr. Datsun73, on COTD! I would like to gift you with a BMW which this lovely lady will deliver at whatever time she chooses.

Will it have windows?

Turf version of Brown’s shoes, shown