And the guy two doors down from you thinks baseball sucks. And that woman in the cubicle next to you Monday? She can’t stand football.

Do better.

Totally read this in a “settle down, Beavis” voice.

The real controversy here is “why the fuck did Woodward send Kemp?!”.

::googling “chariots of fire” “yakety sax” mashup::

You were definitely not the only non-Caps fan to think that.

How can you say you don’t know anything about hockey with an observation like that? It’s like when the Seahawks were at the goal line in the Super Bowl and Belichick put Brady in at linebacker because why would he want a great player on the bench at a time like that?

Not a hockey guy, but my understanding is that he is approximately 975,000 years old.

This is the first time I’ve ever seen this. How often do pitchers do this? Is it one of those unwritten rules that pitchers shouldn’t do this? Seems like a pretty significant competitive advantage.

You want to speed up pace of play, stop testing them for greenies.

That’s a shimmy-shimmy from the cocoa puff. (Get it? Because a puff is delicate and so is Chris Paul!)

This is how I feel whenever I see an adult wearing a “Keep Calm and Chive On” shirt

Well it would be once the zombies are done with it.

This should just be titled “A List of Things About Other People’s Cars I Don’t Like Therefore They Shouldn’t Exist, Even if They Don’t Really Inconvenience Me All That Much. These, for the most part, aren’t even trends, just pet peeves that people get butt-hurt over.

What is dead may never die.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

“With the second overall pick, the Sacramento Kings select ... Goro!”

You are one of those people who sports a pocket square while getting their Sunday morning coffee.

Saving Private Joker

I do not like them here. I do not like them there. I do not like them anywhere.

I have a plan I’ve dubbed “The Procedure”.