To be fair, it has some sort of creative potential. I was a young mum in the My Little Pony era. What did my daughter learn from that? How to mindlessly brush hair I guess. At least I read to her while she played with the nasty, garish things.

I think she is channeling Ivana. The colour is called Public Embarassment..

Nah, that’s a post elevator quickie. They got the secret service to stop it between floors. That’s my fantasy but it would probably put Mr.Oggy’s back out.

We’ll be has been super busy writing those Trump corporate cheques to payoff daddy’s sex partners and bonus out Cohen. It’s actually going to go pretty well from now on. Do you think Kimberley does conjugal visits?

I’m incredibly knackered just trying to get my head around the whole —we’ve already built a terrific wall, (in fact seven km out of 700 km) improved it greatly and it’s stopping the disease ridden, uber violent caravaners from climbing in but we still need a wall (because my dick,) so give me billions or I will…

The dad is a close second. Whining about losing his daughter while dissing her new husband who clearly adores her. I’d say it’s a shitty strategy for ingratiating himself with any of the royals. Frankly they would both be considered too common by far.

Yeah, Gritty for chief of staff.

Isn’t it a bit weird that church ladies committing financial crimes got their comeuppance far quicker than their pervert counterparts in the priesthood. Nah, sounds about right.

If I were him, I would be very afraid of the team of guys sent in to groom the cat and redo the flooring. 

I also can’t imagine Xi making ‘a wonderful humanitarian gesture.’ And I don’t think Trump would know one if he saw one. But I do believe that the word wonderful is one of his six go-to adjectives. So, let’s give him that.

Hey, ‘twas ever thus. Blame the Jews for everything. Then hold them to a higher standard. I am not Jewish but fuck that.

That pic also shows that she got the little fat Trump hands.

So timely. I am having a ‘non’ shower for my daughter this weekend. It has been really challenging to devise a low key, low budget event (thankfully there must be no cheesy games or balloons) for a pregnant extrovert, and single mom by choice, who is uncomfortable being the centre of attention. Apparently my skills…

And this is why America cannot have nice things. Even the White House is a two bit reality show.

I hear you. We are a family of insomniacs. My daughter was actually dumped by someone who claimed their circadian rhythms were not compatible. To be fair, he was a science nerd and quite the twat.

Take it from an old. The only way to guarantee that a woman gets a good sleep in a long marriage is separate bedrooms. Bed should be the last place for sex. Reserve that for the bathroom, the washing machine, you know...... anywhere but the bed. And if you must, a well timed morning cuddle keeps the intimacy alive.…

As a member of this older demographic of which you speak, I disagree. We happily gift first timers but are incredibly proud when our kids do the right thing and eschew gifts, especially the hated registry when all reasonable sized gifts that remain are a set of sterling silver salad servers. True story. And by the…

Oh for god’s sake, bring back big knickers. It shrieks “desperate to hold onto my youth.”

My daughter is pregnant via a sperm donor. Even this is not an issue. Seriously, who cares.

Sent to remind us that beauty and apparently truth, are fleeting.