Look at it another way: you'd never have gone hungry.

In the same college town, there was also the waiter I foolishly gave my number to who called and left me angry voicemails every month (after the initial month's 2x daily calls died down) for about a year. I didn't know you could block numbers and had just changed my phone number, so I just went with the handy "DO NOT…

I was in college, chatting with a guy I'd just met in a kind of empty bar. I think it's relevant to know I went to college in a rural Midwestern town. I forget what we were talking about, but somehow the topic of hunting came up. Then the topic of hunting squirrels. Then eating squirrels. Finally he just got out his…

It's my sister's story. During the height of VH1's The Pickup Artist (which we both watched religiously), some guy came up to her in a bar. He said, 'let me show you this magnetic body trick with your fingers that I like to call KINO'

Back in college in the DC scene there was an indie-label (a decent one too) owner that was friends of friends that I would run into maybe once every 4-5 weeks and he never ever remembered me, no big deal, he wasn't my type. EVERY TIME I saw him he told me (1) he owned a label (2) he was friends with Alexi Lalas and…

On a late summer/early fall evening, I was getting ready for bed in my dorm room in Australia, where I was studying abroad.

If my thighs and ass looked that good I'd wear this to work every day. You better believe it.

me too!

I fell for a medic in Afghanistan that I met on eHarmony. I never wanted to date a soldier, but he was a medic - SAVING PEOPLE, right? - and he was super sweet. He called me on a satellite phone pretty frequently, we Skyped, etc etc. I refused to 'officially' date him until we met in person, until one day he was…

Gotta threadjack with some sweetness.

"I'm different than most guys"

Fuck, I didn't even meet my boyfriend online but I still googled his name, his AIm screenname, and phone number before.e I went on a date with him! And I am 85% positive he did the same for me!

You'd be really weirded out that someone wanted to make sure they weren't going out with a total creeper by Googling you before meeting you in person? You sound great.

I hate to break it to you, but every girl you meet online googles you. It's standard procedure. Eliminates the outright criminals and married guys. Amazing how you can find out who someone is with just a first name /city/ occupation.

About six years ago I met up with this weird vegan dude at a sleazy dive bar just across the river from my apartment. He looked nothing like his profile picture and had a collection of some of the worst goddamn tattoos I have ever scene.

Met a good looking guy on POF (plenty of fish). We'd gone out a few times but we'd never hung out at either person's house. He was a personal trainer and one evening after I picked him up from work (his car was in the shop) we stopped by my place to change (personal trainer = free workouts) and hit a movie. We'd…

I screencap it for my blog then go weep into my ice cream as I Google Cat Lady Starter Kits because that's obviously the direction my life is going if these are my only choices.

Well, there was the time my little sister thought it would be funny to make me a dating profile over at farmersonly.com. I didnt know about it until I googled myself during a job search and found something about how much I enjoyed mud slinging and pig wrassling.

Pissing contest? Please, I have a whole blog dedicated to how Online Dating Is Literally The Worst.