What beverage do you recommend to deaden the pain of the final weekend of this election campaign?

Other sports Elvi: Elvis Stojko and Elvis Peacock.

Be careful what you wish for, Albert. If your Wizards acquire Andre Drummond, they also acquire his sub-40-percent free-throw shooting. Last year, the Pistons were so frightened of Drummond missing free throws toward the end of close games that they benched him.

The pharmaceutical industry defends these direct-to-consumer ads as “providing truthful information about legal products”. Which of course is why, as Bobby Finger points out, the ads anthromorphosize ailments and have these animated diseases follow their sufferers around.

According to Drugs.com, 60 Viberzi tablets cost just over $1,000.

I live in the Detroit area, so I’m not qualified to render an opinion as to whether the NFL is worse this year.

He looks like the logo for Fat Head’s Head Hunter IPA.

This election belongs in the heretofore unknown 10th Circle of Hell.

The Detroit Pistons are reportedly trying to encourage Andre Drummond (38% FTP last season) to try shooting underhand, and Drummond reportedly thinks that shooting underhand would wound his pride. A local sportswriter asked whether being benched in the final minutes of close games was a bigger affront to his pride.

I lose fewer balls in bowling than in golf.

A true “hands-on” administration.

Set the drinking age on Mars at 18, and the tour companies will figure out a way to fly spring breakers there and back, faster than the speed of light.

What I find ironic about LSU having a live tiger mascot is that tigers hate the aroma of beverage alcohol—which is consumed in great quantities at home games.

If you think the Lincoln Park Zoo is depressing, I went to the the Beijing Zoo about 15 years ago. It was several orders of magnitude worse as far as living conditions for the animals. Worse yet, I saw businessmen on their lunch break taunting the lions and throwing objects into their enclosure.

This just in: Baseball is weird.

I’m not sure how Canada’s criminal code defines rape, but the English common-law definition was “any penetration, however slight”.

None of ND’s first six opponents are ranked in the top 25. Four of their next six opponents are in the top 25.

One thing I’ve observed in my travels around the country is that the density of strip clubs and adult superstores is much greater in Republican counties.

A little. The exiles who want the embargo to continue are getting on in years.

This reminds me of a Lee Corso line when he was coach at IU. The Hoosiers hosted USC, and Corso said to fans, “I told you we were going to bring a Rose Bowl team to Bloomington”.