There has to be someone affiliated with Deadspin that can pull off the mannerisms and affectations of an adolescent attendee.

If it’s true that he didn’t know while he was pitching, that means someone leaked that shit before Volquez was informed. And that person needs to be hunted down and set on fire, because that means that dude was pitching game 1 while the whole world knew about his father’s death before he did. And that's fucked up.

I honestly don’t know who would get up to watch these shitty teams play on a laptop if they didn’t have to. And I’m a bills fan.

“Yeah, see, here’s your problem: these teams fucking suck.”

Oh dear God fuck the NFL. They can’t even get this right? Between this and the breast cancer scam, perhaps it’s just time they give up pretense of humanity and accept their role as a villain.

I’m sure, as a Republican politican, Jeff Flake has also been an asshole at some point about something...but god damn, he deserves praise on calling out this waste of money.