We need a

Remember that time at the VMAs when they sat together and just talked shit about everyone/everything...........

Remember the time like a year ago that Taylor Swift reacted to a pretty harmless joke from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler by telling Vanity Fair, "there's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women" and turned it into a whole deal everyone would have otherwise forgotten?

OMG yes - that very article. In one breath she talks about how she hates being the butt of jokes or people talking about all of the people she's stalked and how she's grown up a bit. And in the very next breath we learn there are TWO songs about Harry Styles and she's talking smack about another singer. DRAMA.QUEEN…

Yeah when she said "hired people from under me", I figured they were important people. Like, managers and producers. Not that dancers aren't important, but come on. There are a gazillion talented under/unemployed dancers out there.

This is a girl who continues to write songs about that time Kanye interrupted her or about guys she was linked to what seems like forever ago. Clearly, she has issues with taking things too seriously.

I can't be diplomatic about this because I have found Swiftys whole "unicorn horn up my bum and fairy princess" schtick incredibly annoying for years. But I have always assumed that she is a Regina George. She is just one of those girls who loves having a pack of other girls fawn all over her.

Taylor is a bit of a drama queen about this. Katy hired 3 dancers away from Taylor - wouldn't/shouldn't the people Taylor be mad at the actual dancers? I read elsewhere that at least 2 of the dancers had been with Katy for years prior and that was part of the reason she wanted to go back. One of them stated that…

And that would explain why the garage door would be open.. fumes.

You should always use protection.

But was the motorcycle on? None of the sources say. If I was going to make love to myself on a motorcycle, I would definitely turn it on for vibration purposes. I would also make sure I was wearing a helmet, because you can never be too careful.

#broom broom

I blame Kim and Kanye.

This headline is so misleading. She wasn't making love to a motorcycle, she was making love to her fingers on a motorcycle. Apples and dildos, Mark.

She better not be trying for an EGOT.

I wondered when it would happen to my generation.

I think it's the first time I've been able to relate to her. It's kind of a cosmic moment.

I honestly expect that Gawker HQ will reimburse Mark's expenditures for seven weeks of the OG and that we will get to read weekly accounts of his exploits there. MAKE IT HAPPEN, MARK!