The people that voted for him can’t afford to go, and those that can afford it, don’t want to go. It’s quite the predicament.

Cheers to Jay for throwing something correctly.

I do want it said and again and again how this has nothing to do with conventional politics. Trump isn’t just wrong or bad (or even primarily wrong or bad) because he’s a Republican. He’s bad because he’s just a shitty human being who just so happens to have hijacked politics.

Yeah Trump hates Hollywood so much he has been trying to get accepted by Hollywood for decades and his people are going behind the scenes begging A-List singers and celebrities to attend his inauguration. His people were even putting out press releases saying that A-Listers partied with Trump on New Year’s Eve.

Tomi, may just be the most insufferable out of all of them.

He literally said her father wasn’t a war hero because he was captured.

“I was having every emotion I’ve tried to get rid of over the past few weeks,” audience member Jordan Serpone told The New York Times. “She shouldn’t be here. She should be planning her cabinet.”

Dear Trumpers: It wasn’t the Wall. It was the East German Border Guards who had no qualms about shooting unarmed civilians in the back.

She’s there, in person, and didn’t learn what that wall represents.

What a bimbo. She DOES know that the Berlin Wall came down in 1989, right? She remembers Saint Ronbo taking credit for it? Gurl, that wall don’t work. That is an ex-wall.

My god the next four years are going to be a fuckfest.

The sight of these knucklewalkers trying to navigate the Metro will resemble the scene in Grapes of Wrath when the little Joad kid is afraid of the toilet in the Government camp.

Turns out inauguration is a federal holiday and I don’t have work. So that means I don’t have to walk to work in downtown DC and have to deal with all the rubes on their way to inauguration. Thank fucking god. And I can sleep in and PRETEND FOR JUST A BIT LONGER.

No way. 4th grade? How old is that? 10 years old? Poop and fart jokes are popular at that age. How does a 10 year old not know where the butthole is?

Like fully right in here? I’ve def experienced a drunken whoops, but like the door was closed. Do I have an unusually tight anus?

Every time I read about them I have to think about Tina and Amy’s joke at the Golden Globes:

Victim: Help! I was raped by a police offic-
Republican: No you weren’t.

Yes.

What is this, the Trump Tower Lobby Collection?

Even better: Nordstrom Rack. Find out when they get their shipments and get there early. Your bag might be a season out of date but who cares when it’s 70% off the retail? Carry it long enough and it’s vintage.