Remember when Bernie Sanders used socialism to physically relocate Vermont?

Ted Cruz is the Windows Vista of candidates.

Scalia didn't want to watch the debate so badly he died. I'm not saying you should follow his lead, but…

Yeah, what's the point of a debate without Jim Gilmore?

"I think Republicans will make every effort to block the nomination," Stephen Wermiel, Professor of Law at American University Washington College of Law told the Daily News. "Even to the point of shedding blood in the aisles of the Senate if they have to."

Yes.

About my luv of Ryan XXX?

Describe your last fart in a movie title

Steven Soderbergh, of course.

My family has put down a cat with feline AIDS and a dog with numerous cancerous growths. It was sad to put them down, but I think we made the right decision. We've also had two other cats die in their sleep at home. We could have ended their suffering sooner, but dying in your sleep isn't so bad.

I will not have you insulting the beauty of hot dogs like this.

THE COMBITION
OF GOLD TURTOISE,
MAN SHADOW,
AND UNTHINKABLE KIND
IS SURELY BALANCED.

Well, politicians have never been the prettiest people.

I am so excited for Valentine's Day!

Frankly, I want characters to wind up sad, broken, bitter, confused and lonely like I am!

I see we have some new people here, which is lovely! To help welcome them and anyone else, here's is a quite useful tutorial from a poorly translated 16 year-old bootlegged Pokemon game:

Darryl/White Josh
Josh/White Josh
Me/White Josh

BURR-MUNITY SUCKS

Exactly! I need another source of terrible unintentional modernist poetry now the NFL season is over.

It's gravitational turtle waves all the way down!