$800 towards a future flight but they make it impossible to use the voucher with black out dates and other bullshit. I fell for that once.

Yesterday I bought my kid a knockoff Swell bottle at Walmart for $10. He thinks it’s fancy.

Don’t be silly! If Cafiene had that particular selfie stick S/he wouldn’t need to eat at any resutaurants. It was probably more like this:

Anna, girl, it’s not too late to run!

You haven’t lived until you’ve had gummy bears from Sprouts. Haribo gummies taste like death warmed over compared to Sprouts gummy bears.

I’ve totally taken over his iPod and added some things. His new favorites are Springsteen and The Ramones. He’s trying to learn to play the entire Ramones catalog on his guitar so there’s hope!

My 8 year old and all of his friends love the Chainsmokers. I think that says all there is to know.

Fuck this shit. And let me just say fuck Pull-ups too. Kids potty train when they are damn good and ready. Trying to get a shit filled Pull-up off of a wiggling three year old is nearly as bad as trying to politely get Bobby Finger to take the Crave Crunch box when you really want the damn box yourself. Only there…

Yep

I think that whole relationship between Putin and Assange is interesting. In his mind, Assange is probably choosing the “lesser of two evils”.

Yes!!!! I owned a house built in 1910. I always said that to change a lightbulb in a house that old you have to rewire the entire house and replace the toliet.

I’d watch the shit outta that.

It was a joke.

This means that dementia patients in nursing homes can consent too, right?!?

What the fuck, Canada???? I thought you were better than this.

Oh I disagree! I think Little and Big Edie would LOVE knowing someone wealthy and important is living in their beloved home. Status mattered to them even though it was only the memory of status.

Ah, he doesn’t care about love. He wants to be admired. Worshipped even.

Next fashion trend: bedazzled surgical masks. I’m calling it now people!

If you wanna watch Mandy Moore in something get a bottle of wine/whiskey or a doobie and watch Sherrif Callie’s Wild West.

Try Murder Dictionary. They are equally irreverent but more focused.