I agree that it’s not fair. But it sure is fun!

I’m guessing (I don’t know the La La Land dudes) that the bald fellow who broke the news over the mic was the above-mentioned Jordan Horowitz?

I’ve never seen him before but I admire how he was serious as a heart attack about this. He wasn’t having any jokes, he was not putting up with any confusion, and he fucking…

I’ve always looked at it like this: If you take Olajuwon’s height away from him he’s Scottie Pippen. If you take Shaq’s, he’s Glen Davis.

Shorter version:

I’m going to distract from your macro discussion with my entirely irrelevant micro anecdote, which is mostly a humble-brag about how much money I make.

Yeah but if you set a man on fire it will keep him warm for the rest of his life.

Boring White People Think Their Boring Shit Is Deep: The Millionth Movie.

Or you could just use google

Michael Bay has taught me that there’s Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and unidentifiable lumps of grey metal. That’ll have to do.

I assume it’s something more along the lines of “CEO’s have an important role in an organization, but are not worth 200x the average employees salary”.

We don’t need an ideal world, just a better one than what we have now. I imagine part of that involves restricting the pay of smarmy, gladhanding assholes who provide, what? Leadership, I guess.

I don’t know...I feel like maybe I liked her a lot more when she was fucking Tim Robbins. Can we go back to that Susan Sarandon? Even if she was crazy then, she was at least better at hiding it.

Monosplaining? This is why people make fun of polyamorists.

No it doesn’t. It can describe a lot of things: a monogamous couple who thinks cheating is inevitable and it’ll be something they work through together, a monogamous couple who thinks “cheating” is not cheating in very specific scenarios, a person who is generally monogamous but maybe not always, and so on.

Bother me? I laughed out loud when I read it. It fascinates me to no end when I hear people justify their actions as natural, honorable, and true when in fact it’s simply self-interest.

You underestimate the 100% pure organic farm to table dickishness of James Dolan.

It’s one thing to be a disaster in New Jersey. It’s another thing to be a disaster in NYC.

I would not be mad at my neighbor. It is my neighbor’s property.

So are we a host when we have a penis inside us? Does that penis belong to us while we are hosting it? Can we do with it whatever we want? Just asking.

Still ended the Heat’s 13-game win streak without him, but glad that the Deadspin ethos of “Shit on the Sixers whenever possible” still applies.

You know he eats his own shit, right?