I remember when being hip to Albert Brooks (and, incredibly, David Letterman) was like being in the world’s smallest club. His filmed bits from the early days of “Saturday Night Live” were amazing, particularly one that was a parody of NBC’s fall schedule promos featuring a show called “Black Vet” about a black…

“ Only six of these cameras were ever made. Only five of them ever worked. We have four of those.”

Seriously, fuck this dude. 

Oh, look, some Twitter randos are trying to make A Thing. Let’s all talk about the new A Thing they made. Then, within the next 24-36 hours let’s talk about the next A Thing Twitter randos will so graciously bestow upon us.

This all distracts from the fact that the real most jarring appearance in the film is by Jack White of all people. What the heck was that?

“he had that girth”

Calling The Shark is Broken a Broadway sensation is probably a bit of a stretch. The reviews have been mixed to poor, with the NYT calling it “bloodless and toothless,” and Deadline said it was “too slender a tale, too gentle, to provide thrills or even, truth be told, much drama.” It’s not exactly packing theaters,…

I mean, if someone wrote a play about how I was an asshole, and then they were like “bUt It’S fIcTiOnAl” I would be super irritated. People who watch this play aren’t going to walk away saying “that was funny, but of course it’s not a documentary and I shouldn’t let any of this content color my opinion of Richard…

And Brad Pitt couldn't have beaten him up either.

Ha, “news”, that’s a good one. 

More than one thing can be true at the same time

1. White men could have said those things because you know...white men
2. BL could have been an asshole 

Breaking news:  Arrogant man was nice to his daughter.

I think Tom’s much better - he’s an actor, Leo’s merely a movie star.

Agree. He’s frequently tagged as an actor who repeatedly just plays “Leo.” I’ll continue to remember his performance in The Revenant only because experiencing it was pure torture and his bad Southern accent made him a little less Leo. His Irish accent was bad too. I don’t much care for Tom Hardy either; it was…

THANK YOU. Can we finally be done with this fiction that he’s some sort of masterful, high-art thespian?

Yes, because with insane housing costs; rising costs for basic necessities; inequality further expanding; and a shit ton of refugees and other migrants who are unhoused; all in the city I am mayor of. I too would be looking forward to a baby boom.

Just not a very funny one. We didn’t need a way more boring Tony Clifton.

Not to mention:

Thanks.  I generally refrain from commenting on the ratcheting laziness of AVC writers but an article about a trailer without the trailer is truly something.

only the AV Club would make an article about a trailer and not link to the trailer