Wait, blind items like what?

I wasn’t going to bother to star MBCock’s comment until I saw yours. Thanks!

Noooo!

Thank you! I thought I was going blind that I couldn’t find her in any of the group shots.

My dentist sets me up so well that I haven’t bought toothpaste, brushes, or floss in YEARS.

I’ve recently taken to using old-timey expletives like “Jeezy Pete!”

Oh my god! I had the same problem with “yarmulke”! I had heard people say “yah-muh-keh”, and I had read a word that I pronounced “yar-ma-luke” in my head. But I thought the second was some kind of Jewish musical instrument; it took me forever to realize they were the same word!

Joking? Otherwise, to quote Stephanie Tanner, “How rude!”

I actually celebrated the first time I spent less than $40 on a Target run.

And Muji in Japan is pretty similar, no?

Is Portlandia Republican? Because they’ve voted down fluoridation at least two or three times. Fuckers.

You actually absorb alcohol much more efficiently through the mucous membranes than through the digestive tract (hence the existence of weird shit like butthole beer bongs and vodka-soaked tampons), so having alcohol in your mouth for the recommended two minutes of brushing or mouthwash-swishing could impact those for…

I thought it was supposed to be “stirata,” and laughed that he blundered while trying to be superior.

I think it’s supposed to be “stirata,” which is like an Italian ficelle- a long and skinny loaf. (“Stirata” means “stretched” in Italian.) So he even fucked up his snotty references, AWKWARD!

I said “enabling” her dysfunction, I didn’t say he caused it. Are you unfamiliar with the concept of an enabler? They both seem pretty messed up; apparently he also did the skin-darkening injections.

I just saw her on a Botched marathon like three days ago! What made me extra sad for her was that she’s had the same boyfriend since high school, and he definitely seems to be enabling her dysfunction. Like, if you want to play God, dude, why not put your own pasty body under the knife instead of hers?

I will never understand, when this situation keeps coming up, why the airline doesn’t just move the man. He’s got a problem with his seat? Move him. It has nothing to do with her!

Thank you so much for saying this so well.

I’ve been clinging to this so hard for so long that I’d totally missed the reigning Del Naja theory:

Spider-Man, Clark Kent. It’s a classic.