Good advice! I just sorted through all my cosmetics and toiletries while working my way through the DVR backlog. Threw out old stuff, rotated in a new eye shadow palatte, and put together a bag to donate to a battered women's shelter. Tomorrow, after sledding, I'm going to practice with the false lashes I found until…

I'm well prepped for this storm, but I lack a snuggle partner and they were out of stock at the supermarket. Which has me sad, because I can't think of anything more mood-making than frigid temps and gale-force winds rocking the upstairs bedroom.

I like you. Lots.

THANK you! I just don't understand the judgment here. Hands are great tools, as long as you use them well.

Opera length?

This comment thread has turned toward a much happier ending than I'd expected. Yay for sex positivity!

I kind of feel as though a lot of people commenting didn't read the article to completion either.

Nothing wrong with a shaker knit. They were just very popular in the 80s (Ooh, worn backwards with the deep v down the back!), and were one concession to popular fashion that would *not* get you side-eye in my high school.

Oooh! I had sparkly copper! Now that I think about it, my laundry must have been an utter disaster. My poor grandmother.

Your mom is brilliant!

Thank you for posting a pic. I was beginning to feel like a sucker for actually posting a photo of myself. And you look gorgeous and fab these days, and funny and adorbs back then!

Why wait? it's on Amazon; BUY IT NOW. (with botanical extracts, even!)

Reading all these '80s beauty horror stories, I'm realizing I may have actually been lucky to grow up in a judgy, oppressively preppy New England town. There was the occasional shaker-knit sweater or neon shoelaces on Keds. But any girl with waterfall bangs or a fishnet wardrobe would have gotten serious side-eye and…

WHAT?! DENTAL FLOSS????!!!

Seriously. The first time I tried it was dry, with a straight razor I found in my cousin's beauty shop. I don't know how I didn't maim myself permanently.

That's just the kneecap.

I used to wear different colors of eyeliner on each eye. Why choose?

I knew a Sun-In addict who spent most of high school looking like the sixth member of Duran Duran because of that crap. Only Nick Rhodes should ever sport an orange mullet.

Thank you! This was probably at its relative best (there are thankfully very few photos of it at its worst), when the frizz had been cut off but the breakage hadn't really set in yet.

That's really not bad at all! And it's a lovely arch. I've seen way worse over plucking, I promise. (But if it really bothers you, Latisse is an eyebrow miracle worker!)