I am literally beaming at my desk at the entire testifying. DRAG HIMMMMMM.

The irony wasn’t lost on me at the time that Mr. Trump in 2011 had strongly criticized President Obama for not releasing his grades. As you can see in Exhibit 7, Mr. Trump declared “Let him show his records” after calling President Obama “a terrible student.”

OMG! Wine! Weed! Kissing!

Seems Dr. Sanderson experienced an unconscious coupling.

I agree.

He was recently on an NPR show “Ask Me Another”. He is an amazing guy in so many ways. He got into college on an art scholarship. Then he got on the football team as a walk on and got a free ride. He is a flautist. He made extra money in school doing portraits of his teammates. The played a game of “what cant Terry do”…

I have a lot of respect for Terry Crews. It’s incredibly demeaning, and infuriating, when someone suggests that you didn’t try hard enough to not be sexually harassed or assaulted. He helped encourage me to report my own sexual harassment.

Ugh. Michael B. Jordan, time for a new agent.

Terry Crews is a national treasure. 

This is such bullshit. The girls in Kid Electron’s school use their JoJo bows as a means of exclusion. You don’t have a JoJo bow? You can’t sit with us. You have a JoJo bow? Well, it came from Target and not from Claire’s, so you can’t sit with us. Oh, you have a Claire’s JoJo bow? Well, it’s the wrong shade of clown…

He hates him cuz he ain’t him.

When Trump sent his dick pics to Vladdy, no one sneezed did they? 

I’ve never gotten sick at Chipotle. I might have lunch at one today even. Divide the number of people that have gotten sick at Chipotle versus the number that eat there every day and you realize your odds are rather insignificant of actually getting ill.

PENTATONIX IS TRASH GROW UP

Here’s the only documentary on Fyre we need. Let Austin and his bros take you on a (hilarious, for us) journey through the heart of darkness.

(Puts on Evangelical Birther Trumpster hat) “Well, that’s because Obama has to do things to make it look like he’s a Christian, but trump is already a Christian so doesn’t need to prove anything. And trump didn’t recite the words because he was too busy thinking about how to Make America Great Again.”

Hopefully the turnout will look something like this

My biggest disappointment about Trump’s funeral is that he’ll be too dead to know how sparsely attended it was compared to his predecessors.

I’m not one to talk, but oof, he is so fat. He literally is the human metaphor of everything wrong with America.

Me, at Trump’s funeral: