I had to look that up! Talk about terribly ineffective flirting. (Inserts Aziz Ansari Gif)

Vomit Bukkake

Oh, you!!

Here at The Face Clinic, we already have press releases and product details for Holiday 2014. Which starts rolling out the last week of September

Butters, you eat placenta off the Wal-Mart floor. Don't hate on people who have taste!

Egg Nogg Latte?

I don't even go to Starbucks in the winter at the fear of getting shanked by the "PSL" junkies trying to get their fix.

I like pumpkin pie, pumpkin candles, even decorative pumpkins when appropriate. I don't like the nasty after taste and heartburn this drink gives me. I just don't get it!!! I'll never be a cool mom!

I'm friends with some of those from The Basic Tribe (their words, not mine), it's legitimately like crack cocaine to them. ITS THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR (inserts table hopping gif from mean girls)

Mr. Zhivago hates Starbucks anyway.

I've tried the Pumpkin Spice Latte a few times and just didn't like it. I guess I'm not cool.

Ughhhh!!!! That was my favorite Spice Girls video, I love love love Mel B. I always got to be Scary Spice when we played Spice Girls in elementary school.

Of course. Crotch licking is just another reason to keep their mouths clean. Also, their breath resembles the smell of a Porta Potty without brushing.

When we first moved to the mountains, our dogs got curious and ate deer poop once. One time. They lick their peenies more than anything, which I think is super gross, but that's why I brush their teeth. I think it's a conspiracy perpetuated by cats.

Its a poorly written B but it does say Bossy. Like they started another letter and oops this is supposed to be a B not an A, wait a B wait.....what am I doing with my life.

Well I guess he's staying with me for now. We like to drink Cosmos and watch Golden Girl 're runs. Larry is a bitchy old queen.

Yay you're rescuing! We did too. Get yourself a good vacuum because everything you own is going to be smothered in corgi hair.

It DOES look like a diaper. Like she's wearing 8 pairs of those butt enhancing underwear. They exist.

unrelated: I see you have a corgi. I also have two stumpers.

Yeah but you might burn your house down.