He has the mental capacity of a 5-year-old

My stars! He’s not an adorable little antebellum dandy throwback? And instead a craven little shitweasel? I think I’ve got the vapors!

Great point... He only likes the right KIND of fame. But since he’s basically a stunted kindergarten bully, he thought he wanted any kind of mega-fame, the more the better; he forgot that the Presidency doesn’t just make you the most famous, but also the most scrutinized, the most criticized, & the most hated. The…

WHY WOULD SENSUALITY EVER BE USED TO DESCRIBE A PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION THAT’S NOT A THING EVEN WHEN WE AREN’T SWEARING IN THE GROSSEST MAN ALIVE.

It’s now considered a point of positive credit that our incoming Attorney General will publicly admit that grabbing women’s genitals without permission is, in fact, sexual assault.

No, no. It’s a huge factory farm kind of thing, with overcrowded cages full of beautiful bouncing babies, waiting to be slaughtered by evil sex-having witches.

No. The abortion industry collects dismembered toddler parts they fuse together using black, feminist sorcery into a giant, evil, Voltron baby which will crawl across the land eating Christians as if they were Gerber’s stewed carrots.

We basically will have a double agent in the White House beginning on January 20th.

I may not agree with Vicente Fox on everything politically, but I got to see him speak in June and he had a lot of great things to say about treating our international neighbors with humanity and not demonizing other human beings for political gain. While these seem like basic things to do as a decent human being,…

“Made in China? Full of chinks and garbage. Sad.”
10 minutes later:
“MSM telling lies about Trump AGAIN! Clearly talking about McD’s poor quality toys. TERRIBLE!”
15 minutes later: I’m just an unburned outline of a human against the chard wall of my old house.

Why help him? He spent the campaign encouraging his supporters to harass and threaten journalists, so I can’t for the life of me figure out why some people are so willing to carry water for him like this.

Mainstream press has, almost without exception, mishandled everything about Donald Trump every step along the way. I pretty much don’t expect anything different now.
I look forward to eventually dying in a nuclear fire because he mistyped some tweet meant to be about McDonald’s lack of quality Happy Meal toys anymore.

So much for the party of state’s rights and small government! I hate these people so much. I’m so scared of the next four years. I have no idea how/if we’re going to make it.

My god the next four years are going to be a fuckfest.

I miss the days when The Onion imitated real life, instead of the other way around!