Even after buying legal weed for two years, I marvel at how different it is compared to meeting some creepy burnout behind a restaurant to get a baggie of stems. The dispensaries have lovely branded bags, punch cards, Chamber of Commerce certificates proudly framed and hung in the lobby, sleek interiors with…

Exactly.  :)

First of all, I haven’t delved into the comments, so apologies if I repeat circumvent the points made by others....

The most ‘MERICA item? “The time is all messed up. It’s 1am.” Because the earth revolves around our quickly-becoming-garbage country. See, many, many other nations use something called GMT, and use this time designation to allow people all over the globe to quickly understand the local time. I may live in an…

Nailed it! When I was a breastfeeding mom, my kiddo decided, while we were in the far back corner of Costco, with a full basket, that he needed to eat IMMEDIATELY. I pulled off to the side (blocking the aisle is a million times more offensive than a boob), plopped down on a giant stack of soda cases, and fed the…

I suppose, if they are still wrapped, but the thought of putting rat-tainted diapers on a baby gives me chills. Of course, if that’s all you have because you’ve been through a terrible disaster and your government has utterly failed you...I guess one would take the dubious diapers. Bottom line, it fucking sucks that…

I was a December graduate with a Bachelor of Science degree. I received the official paperwork confirming I had completed my degree at the end of December, and was given the option of receiving the pretty, frame-worthy one by mail or in the official university ceremony in May. I’d worked hard for that damn thing, so…

How...how are they going to “finish the distribution in the next few days”??  Food, medical supplies and other items that are contaminated with rat piss and droppings need to be incinerated, not distributed to people who are likely immune-compromised due to stress, lack of clean water and adverse living conditions.…

A South Carolina chain saw artist.

I’ve found that (thumbs down) to be effective, eventually, as well. Personally because there are so many reality, “OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS AMAZING HOUSE!!,” and animated shows, all of which are of zero interest to me. Granted, you can scroll past, but when one has to scroll past 60% of the content, it’s a pain in the…

As I say to my kids when they ask an easily-answered question, “Uh, you have a computer in your pocket.”  BTW, they are 17 and 21.  If they were, like, 5, I wouldn’t be a snarky bitch. :)

Infuriating. At 12, my son wanted to play tackle football. With all of his gear on, he weighed 71 lbs, but had to play in the 125 lb or less group. He usually played baseball, had great speed and good hands, wanted to play safety or receiver. The dickhole of a coach put him on the D-line, where he proceeded to get…

I lucked out somehow and have a dad who, although aloof, is a total cupcake who loves animals and would give the shirt off his back if someone needed it. (Full disclosure: we do not discuss politics, as he’s an old-school rural conservative and I’m a social and fiscal liberal)

First and foremost, the illustration perfectly captures both the photo and the dead-inside superficially that is Lauer. Nice work!

When I read the name of the supposed doctor, this is all my brain could see...

I read the Onion first, so this was extra-delish.  Best part of the word cloud?  Stabbity stab stab.

JUST AS I THOUGHT - YOU ARE A GOAT!!!  Shepherds are en route to your location.  Next stop: petting zoo.

Holy shit, his grasp of grammar, punctuation and sentence structure was markedly better five years ago.  Why can’t this fucking racist asshole just drop dead, already??

Hmmm. I think you may indeed be a goat.

The Heritage Foundation is either completely lying or batshit crazy (or both). I do not even live in extreme poverty, and have had my utilities cut off due to inability to pay several times in my adult life. I then did what other people in such a situation do: cobbled together the money by going to family members…