Just to be clear though, it’s funny that the Cubs and Cardinals are the only teams who have to end their vacation early.

The fact that this woman is in critical condition — rather than deceased — shows how safe cars are these days.

Maybe she unbelted, climbed out, then collapsed.

That car is right-hand drive or she’d be deader than dead.

It means they were wrong as fuck, because they weren’t even the best college football team that year.

“Ran good, needs minor work, prob just a tune up. Engine already out but have all the pieces. Hmu No lowballers I kno wut I got”

I think it was a guy filming a screen playing the security footage with his phone

Why, for the love of God, would you do such a thing??? The regular Oreos are right next to them on the shelf.

Yeah well I’m trying to pretend that I didn’t just eat a whole sleeve of Oreos, but reality is a harsh mistress.

Best wedding advice I ever got -

I haven’t been to a boring, bad, or unpleasant wedding since my half-sister’s very large and tacky one in the mid-90's, when I was like 13. Every wedding I’ve been to as an adult has been a fun and touching celebration of people I either adore (my friends’ weddings) or just met but am willing to gamble on being…

God, I love a wedding. I go into full Jolie the Cruise Director mode, organizing outings, ironing shirts, getting your Aunt Grace lit up on signature cocktails, all of it. I mean, Billy and I and a bunch of others are going shooting/Whataburger-ing/hat shopping when we’re in Dallas for a wedding at the end of the…

obligatory

That’s not just alcoholism. That kind of hallucination can only be achieved through a combination of absinthe, mezcal, and peyote.

Charcoal is wonderful, but you know what else is pretty good? Turning a knob, pressing a button, and having a hot grill ten minutes later and then not having to deal with a cauldron of ashes a couple hours after the meal. That’s decent, too.

So yet another “I knew the rules and broke them but I’m still going to blame everyone else for it” story’s.

My cousin was killed by her abusive boyfriend on Super Bowl Sunday 25 years ago after a fight. I fucking hate seeing stories like this so goddamn much.

I hope the families of the victims are able to find peace at some point. Just terrible.

Well, 9/11 and the resultant wars, lies and incompetence changed me from a Rush Limbaugh dittohead to an Obama/Sanders voter, that’s for sure.

Well, no soccer team has ever won shit without those three qualities and I will argue that it was those three qualities that propelled his `94 team to the final-16.