I don’t know that it’s possible for me to hate someone with every fiber of my being more than I hate Trump.

I’ve spent the last five days thinking about that guy soaking his fruit in warm, soapy water. I can’t get it out of my head. Please help.

Doom has no need for the limitations of typesetting standards. It is beneath Doom.

Doom is also the only character capable of talking in bold italics. All hail Doom.

Can’t argue that. I didn’t vote for him, but it doesn’t matter what I did or didn’t do because so many assholes who look like me did do it and it sucks. Assuming we don’t all die in the coming weeks/months, this is an L I’m going have to wear forever.

I don’t live anywhere near NJ, nor will I be visiting that state any time in the future, but can I still support this dude for being a good owner? I want to like, buy a gift card and just never use it or give it to someone else or something.

Old Glory Distilling Company in Clarksville, Tennessee switched over recently:

Something something bootstraps.

Thank you for this.

Yet again, this list does not include the Nerds Blizzard, so yet again, it is incorrect.

Much like being able to have children, there ought to be a test for gun ownership. 

Tell that to the farmers that Trump gave a $12 billion bailout to recently. Or is it only socialism when it’s proposed by a liberal?

I think the biggest thing last night taught me was something that I kind of always knew deep down, but was hoping wouldn’t be the case: America, as a country, is just going to have to wait out multiple generations of older voters dying before we can have viable candidates who understand the real issues facing the…

That reads like a threat.

Maybe it’s because I’ve never had a samosa, but the broccoli one and “normal” way to make one both sound good to me?

What he meant to say was “you made fun of my God King, so now I’m going to pout.”

I always kinda figured that, if we ever figured out time travel as a species, someone or something would have popped up already from the future. But maybe it doesn’t have to be something that popped up in an obvious way or maybe it did pop up and it changed something and we didn’t notice because now that change is…

As a white person who was formally single and interested in boning people, I can attest that this is accurate. It took a long time to find someone interested in boning me, a white person, and I married them almost entirely out of love, but also out of appreciation.

I feel like there’s some middle ground somewhere that can be reached between America’s repressed attitude towards sexuality and Japan’s love of pretending this anime character is over 18, even though she looks like she’s 12.

If you swap the sauce for marinara sauce, you have what looks like a decent recreation of my all-time favorite chain burger: Bennigans’ Wheelhouse Burger.