Darn those urban areas where 80 percent of your states population resides! 

Did you ever try to line up against Champ, point across the field and yell, “HEY, WHAT’S THAT??? just before the snap?

Very cool...let’s hope he fares better in his debut than another Nathan currently in Oakland whose last name starts with a P and ends with an N.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the injured. In my experience, there are plenty of Chinese spare ribs to go around.

“And Suzy died so bravely, filming the very tsunami that took her from us”

Don’t worry, that water was 40% urine before the accident.

Sino wave generator.

They’re basically the Jeff Fisher of organizations at this point.

This might explain those stretched rectums:

Right...Okay, but how is it that Mack’s contract last year set the stage for all of these holdouts and player flexes and I don’t see anything about that in the article? 

Probably because you didn’t read the article.

Woman that was dating 20 men gets mad at man that is dating two. 

is this me growing on Nate Peterman?

The context of those seven words, which should never be uttered in that order, is even better.

But he’s got some talent. He’s got some athleticism

Yes, it probably would have been just as effective to let Phillip Rivers spit in his drink.

No matter how much of that stuff he takes I don’t think he’ll ever get pregnant

That’s a picture of him before he starting taking steroids.

I would like it hammered into everything that algorithms don’t appear without people making them, that people’s bosses aren’t an algorithm they’re the people who making them.

The majority of these plans seem to only be worth it if you watch at least 3 movies a month — and even then, they’re not great for couples unless you want to spend double the price to have two memberships.