Dating a POC, even a black person, does not mean you aren't racist. Hard stop.

Fetishizing the a race you hate and are uncomfortable with is pretty common. That’s the core of the “black best friend” excuse. You can have a black wife (though it seems maybe he didn’t have a wife who identified as black? She was a WoC but not sure how she self-identifies) or a black best friend or a black business…

Also, he was not ever married to a black woman. His last wife was Latina, the rest of the women he was seriously involved with were either white or Latina. Not one black woman.