Ugh, I have family members who sleep with those things. I'm terrified that I'm going to need one.

"They're sharing a drink they call loneliness,
well it's better than drinking alone."

There's a gay bar in town I semi-frequent with a few friends, but oddly enough I've only ever been hit on by dudes at regular bars.

Someone I work with has that book in the front seat of their car! I'm not sure who, because how do I know which car belongs to whom, but someone!

*Ted Cruz bolts awake in a cold sweat*

Sure, but why would you?

something something PTSTDs

I'll look back in my pun colander.

Don't get saucy.

"What do you guys play?"
"A little of everything."

Excuse me?

Hartford's tourism slogan used to be "New England's Rising Star," to which a friend of mine once responded, "Because it can't sink any lower."

Years ago I saw Corn Mo (plays funny songs on an accordion) open for They Might Be Giants. About halfway through the set someone yelled, "Free Bird!" Corn Mo said, "Alright asshole, you asked for it," and then played the entirety of "Free Bird," on an accordion, solo and all. It's one of my favorite concert moments.

He betrayed Sweet Lady Propane.

"Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?"

Well to be fair, Dead Baby Jokes derive their humor from their violent absurdism, and how far beyond reality they are. Satire takes its humor from its proximity to reality, and when done badly it contributes to what it tries to satirize. Saying "I don't really want to fuck a dead baby!" isn't remotely analogous to…

Not as a slight to the book, I just think the story's central conceit/motif/whatever worked better in the more condensed media of film. The book was a little transparent with its bag of tricks. Still worth a read, though.

I think it was better than the book, frankly.

~~**2003**~~

Plus, the B-52s!