You can police every aspect of your speech, you can wear the right things, you can get all the degrees and expertise, you can write the most fucking eloquent and heartbreaking courtroom statement and still there are men who will not hear you because they just don’t listen to women.

“Can’t even suck a titty right, you little shit.”

Ferberizing is a tough time. I hear ya Moms.

How else can I keep track of how many nice guy points I’ve put into each girlfriend?

Zayn always seemed like the sort to panic that a girlfriend would make him seem uncool.

I ask clearly lonely, heartbroken strangers to do it. Total power move.

Can you write an anonymous note??? A haiku? A limerick?

First song post breakup:

I like seeing celebrity relationships where the people in them give about as much of a shit as I do.

for more attention. I mean more awareness.

DONALD TRUMP BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER!!!

Reminds me of when I started wigs.

I mean, I think a space dagger would be a lot more fun in life than in death. But I’m assuming that said space dagger would imbue me with various super-powers that I could exploit.

“They were just not very compatible in different areas in their relationship. The touring and travelling didn’t help, and the penis was a problem too”.

No! It's so sad when a contract expires.

Great, now I’m going to be comparing all of my poops to this to make sure I defecate in the right pantone.

Get out! Go! Bad Robert! Bad!

It looks blue to me.

He said something about her having an entourage, which everyone else who’s worked with her says she doesn’t.

That “yet” so beautifully encapsulates the condescension men throw at younger women, regardless of their talent and professional background, that it should be framed and put in a museum.