Uh uh, man, I’ve seen What Ever Happened to Baby Jane. Phone call’s not going to convince me, “Richard.”

Just had a long conversation with a friend about her hyphenated last name, and my nontraditional name situation. In my case, people often address me with the wrong name. In her case, people often drop one of her names. It can be annoying, but neither of us has had any major beauracratic (did I spell that correctly?…

I’m sorry. That’s really scary. I’m glad you called the police. Were they helpful at all?

Oh, yo, I have to do this soon. I don’t want to. I hope your gaping mole wound heals quickly (though I guess it’s not gaping with the stitches).

Ohhhhh, YES! I forgot about Pi(e) Day! You’ve given new life to my upcoming Monday. I’m going to bake a freaking pie.

Three thoughts for you. 1. My spouse said something equally stupid when I had a pregnancy scare. He’s typically really loving and supportive, which is why I didn’t kill him outright. After explaining why I was so upset, he apologized, STFU, and offered me whatever support I needed. I’m glad you talked to your…

Yes. All of them. What are the five occasions?

#blessed

I read “Cake” four times, and now I have to eat some. I couldn’t even finish the article. I just popped down here to quickly comment about cake, then it’s off to my fridge for some, you guessed it, cake.

Someone should make a movie of this. Instead of the obvious ending—one year, the penguin doesn’t show up, everyone in the audience cries, the end—the penguin should turn out to have some sort of super-genetic mutation that allows it to live well beyond its expected lifespan, dodging predators and illness, so that one…

Too soon.

Because he became Darcy, man. He became him.

Bobby, I just think you’re rad. Celeb gossip and kitchening are my top hobbies. I very much appreciate your literary contributions to both.

Wait, there’s no statutory definition of manslaughter in MA? I’ll be darned. Why not? How many other states rely on common law to define manslaughter? Thanks for sharing these docs. I’m still working my way through the defense’s motion. I really want to get a handle on their argument, but I need to set it aside for a…

Oh, why waste the cupcakes? Unless...are the nips made out of those white chocolate disc candies? Or is it frosting? If it’s the former, go ahead and send them. Life’s too short for white chocolate.

“Slippery slope...” heh.

It’s See’s, so it’s definitely the latter. Quality of the chocolate is everything.

BoobPunchTina’s advice is always spot on. Get with your GP and tell them you’re abnormally tired. They’ll most likely look at your CBC (complete blood count), thyroid function, blood pressure, and blood sugar. If your thyroid’s wonky, you’ll end up at the endocrinologist, but your general doc will be the one to refer…

MRA arguments remind me of things my homophobic high school friends would say about being worried gay men would hit on them. It’s like, where are these throngs of people who find you irresistible? I can only see you, man. It must be a bro thing.

If, at any time, you find yourself thinking, “it’s the principle of the thing,” or “he thinks I won’t stand up for myself on [specific issue/amount] I’ll show him,” stop and remind yourself how much the attorney costs. I worked with a guy who was not that stellar an attorney, but was charging multiple hundreds of…