Bob is available for hugs. He’s always on call for these kinds of emergencies. (He’s on the left.)

I’m confident I will never be as fancy as those bouffant chickens, and I am fine with that.

What’s everyone cooking/baking? I used to make a lot of bread, it was my hobby, but for whatever reason it really fell off last year. This is my first bread of the year, sesame semolina. Although I had less sesame seeds than I thought, so it’s half sesame, half millet.

Mmmmm, ass butter!

Okay, but are we ever going to see Morty gettin’ that mermaid puss? Because that’s something I might like.

Rick is clearly the overarching villain.

HALLUCINATING THERE ARE SNAKES IN SCROTUM SO HE RUBBER BANDED HIS TESTICLES SO THEY DON’T ESCAPE

Disgusting. I’m pushing 50 so only go to a few of shows a year now but have spent hundreds of hours in mosh pits. My female friends and I have been lucky in that other than the inevitable pit injuries (mostly no broken skin) and also in that we were usually with our scary metalhead boyfriends we emerged largely…

E. Steamed hams.

He better make another pot if he drinks the last of the coffee. OFFICE RULES.

What’s sad is that First Take was decent like 10 years ago before Skip destroyed it and Smith shat on its grave.

You say your friend was between Robert De Niro’s legs “smoking” his “cigar”, eh?

“There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.”

Don’t worry if you get stuck in the tunnel Elon will personally order his henchmen to build a robot tunnel submarine retrieval pod which will reach you in approximately three to four weeks.

This is a perfectly cromulent concern.

I haven’t seen someone recover that well after a major pipe stumble since Rob Ford. 

Change Crown Royal to Four Roses Small Batch and you’re onto something.

“I wanted a more lucrative kind of attention”.

Hi! Sorry your experience at Jezebel was less than perfect. We’re working on correcting the typo, and we’d like to invite you and your friends back, on the house. Thanks for bringing this to our attention!

This evening, my friends and I wanted to really experience the feminist side of the internet so we went to Jezebel. There aren’t enough words to describe how awful it was.