Dear Peoplez magazine,

I don’t smoke or vape. I eat.

So great to see so many familiar names in this SNS! I don’t recognize pretty much anyone commenting on the daily articles anymore. The new commenters seem hostile on a lot of the pieces. Also most of the writers seem new. Anyone know what’s up with Jez overall these days?

My county activated the emergency warning system to both call AND text me about DST. This is not an emergency ffs. They worked in some shame about changing out your smoke detector batteries but I’ve never had a smoke detector where the battery died without being loud and painful.

Hi SNS friends. Anyone still out there?

Thank you for the mental image of god giving a lobster the finger.

Our sun in Panama goes up and down at six thirty and it never deviates. We don’t have time changes either. When I lived in the cold part of the US, I watched fall slip thru my hands quickly, as the days got darker and shorter and colder. Now, if I had to walk in ten degree weather, I think I might break into a…

The sun is setting at 4:45 PM EST this Sunday evening.

I’m a male nurse, and I stick urinary catheters up the penises of men in the ICU with Covid-19. If we could somehow show that to every American man, we’d get 90%+ immunization. Also, any man who is admitted to the ICU, intubated, put on steroids, for more than a week, is almost guaranteed to be impotent for an unknown…

So I was one of those who didn’t like Rodgers before that interview, haven’t for a while. That’s not to claim that I was somehow validated, but rather that I was still kind of stunned by it. I think the biggest thing was that while there is this sense that he is a smart guy, he is a bit of a diva which does affect…

Those Mystic belugas are weirder than your seagoing kind.

You mean John Mulaney came out of rehab, filed for divorce, tripped and fell into a relationship with Olivia Munn (those things may not have happened in that order), and now that immediate post-rehab post-filing relationship isn’t going to last? I do not know how anyone could have seen that one coming. Nope, those…

hot take: i just dont think some people are aware of how crazy scottish women get

Nobody will read this because I’m way past the deadline and probably on the greys, but whatevs.

The worst sex is when the other person thinks it was amazing and the earth moved and you...do not.

I realize this is only a side comment in the story, but she’s right - bad sex is better than a bad haircut.  Bad sex eventually ends, and if you’re lucky your partner can learn.  A bad haircut might last for months.

My best friend has a Havanese Poodle mix and it’s basically like an embodied toddler…mischievous, loving, always getting into shit, always following you around, throwing random tantrums and then falling into a comatose sleep while still being the cutest thing ever.

He bought a Havanese. I have two of those and they are cats. They lay in the sun, sit on your keyboard, sleep all day, swat flies, and ignore you.

First of all, this story is probably my favorite that I’ve read so far, so please don’t let what I’m about to say make you think that you’re story is super spooky.

I love that story.  I hope Mr Reyes comes for me when it’s my time.  In fact, that is our deal.  We made an agreement when he was still alive.