This is what happens when you’re bought out by Univision, you think you’re a prueba de balas

He’s filled with something, and sorrow doesn’t have that pungent aroma.

If she retires, it’ll be private sector vaulting and balancing’s gain for one of America’s greatest Olympians.

** inapplicable if non-white

PS Less 80's villain than a card sharp in 1930s Atlantic City or ‘Johnny Dangerously’ extra.

True Infowarrior fact: the new stadium will be green as it is powered by the bioelectric output of kidnapped Home Depot employees in water-filled tanks. This also explains why their stores are bereft of assistance.

Well, we’ve found a genre crappier than 70's rock-musicals, and it’s remakes of 70's rock-musicals. UP next: 21st century Phantom of the Paradise, Listzomania, Tommy, and three or four more I’m actively suppressing with my feeble brain.

Well, society expects 40something crackers like myself to devolve into a meme-spewing thought-prisoner of Fox and Drudge, and I’m loathe to disappoint society. How else is the next generation of crackers going to learn about the oppression and plight of the white man? NOt from their lily-livered parents, that’s for…

The catastrophic loss is a foregone conclusion, therefore he wants Ivanka to survive, Donald Jr. is the Fredo of the bunch and needs to take the fall for the rest of the family to survive

I wonder why this is

The Karl Rove/Lee Atwater “project your weakness on your opponent” trick; to wit, cocaine-sniffing Air Force Reserve hideaway Dubya is a hero, Purple Heart winner Kerry who was in the shit mocked with band-aids.

Everybody’s got one! I myself recently became an uncle and now am worried about the slow, steady decline into reactionary incoherence.

One can only wonder what the October surprise will be: my bet is his abdicating the throne and substituting in Donald, Jr. to get trounced as everyone realizes that the aging crackers energized by Fox News coverage cannot, in fact, vote more than once and have already been accounted for in every projection.

We had a decent run with the whites of the gloves/punch counting system, maybe that encouraged an unfamiliar sort of boxing but you didn’t hear about fixes for about two decades.

It’s because us burly Gen-X bastards grew up actually having to make the ‘wanking off’ motion in response to a played-out or averse situation, strengthening our forearms, whereas today’s wisp-children just dial up an emoticon.

No headgear here; I think the headgear era is from 1980-2012

The heavyweight gold medal fight ended similarly; the commentators basically said that the Russian gold medal winner should just hand over the judge-gifted gold to the Kazakh boxer he ‘defeated’

Over here, some ruffianly behavior in the 11th division Estonian co-ed geriatric soccer league!

I mean, once you’ve shown up, you might as well, not like things are looking up otherwise.