Now, you might be thinking, hey didn’t this guy just win the greatest award possible for words? And while that may be true

In time that humans have set, which isn’t real

Yeah they do exist here in Chicago too—that being said, a lot of them are leftover from a time they did work and now no longer do anything. And good luck figuring out which are which.

It’s not always true. In the NYC subway system, if you have to use the elevator (or just enjoy the occasional brief respite in a urine chamber), press and hold Door Close and the button for your floor simultaneously. It will save you a good 20 seconds.

I think he’s just softening the forthcoming blow of Emperor Trump’s rise to the presidency and quick dismantling of the democratic system.

Can you, though?

pancakes for everyone

I wish I had that super power

• Readers’ ability to parse irony;

And they should probably stop giving Trump each of Obama’s dropped mics.

Right? He has so much swagger.

I swear, this man needs to carry a mic everywhere he goes and just drop it all the fucking time.

I wish we had four more years.

I read about the mayo on grilled cheese. Love mayo, but somehow it still disturbs me. Will try it- makes sense.

I love mayo with frittes.

mewling mayoboy

How about “Oh, I’m not a hugger! More of a handshaker.” I guess you could kind of put your hands up to stop the hug, then stick your hand out to shake hands. And say it with a smile?

Hugging is basically reserved for my wife. Otherwise, I just say I’m not a hugger as politely as I can and back up a step. If that causes anxiety though... I’m really not sure.

Well, you could just ask her.

those who say talks around consent need to happen in high school or college