definitely this joke. and it’ll fail utterly again.

What you can't really see in the video is the GoPro strapped to his head and the Red Bull logo on his wing.

She was a ho...fo’ sho.

I don’t know what’s worse—the dipshit filming while he’s driving or the asshole bird for cutting across two lanes without signaling.

Old Man Yells at Chair

The Circle is Now Complete.

Fortunately all the employees were able to fly to safety on their hoverboards.

It’s all in the marketing.

There’s obviously only one replacement... the Newton:

I appreciate the well reasoned, extended metaphor, but all I got out of it was a strong hankering for cookies.

I’ll let you guess why they call me the Kegel Kustodian.

Wait, why would you need the FAA’s permission to do anything once you left the atmosphere? Or do they consider their jurisdiction to be infinite once you leave the ground and everyone else agrees?

Yes. Off the video of an oil drilling rig.

Big Fin Squid. It is even scarier when you zoom out

I send my employees home when they are sick. That way they get better, and don’t infect the rest of us. I don’t have a bench of “healthy” workers to pull from. So the sick employee’s job basically gets covered by everyone else on the team until they are better.

Jesus Christ I can actually smell the cool ranch Doritos crumbs in your throat beard while reading what you just said

What?!

A disappointing DC movie?

I always want to say this to the hygienist: