Not marry Sean Penn

I’ve never seen anything good come from trying to change the deal between acceptance and start date.

Uhhh, you call the Hospice provider. They’ll know.

Or you could look at her box office numbers and say she could be replaced by a ham sandwich in most of her roles and nothing would change.

You don’t remember the guy who went down on Kristen Stewart?

The Oscar goes to the person who does the ‘most’ acting.

You’ve never read the Book of Mormon.

Trump is great in the way that rock bottom is important to the life of an alcoholic.

Checks byline. Yep, it’s another “Rich ‘HIVs No Big Deal’ Juzwiak”.

To all the bloodless Democrats who rolled over and let the Republicans bully them into giving up a pick.. Scalia died well within Obama’s term. His useless, polite punk ass has saddled us with these ghouls for the rest of my life. So Fuck You buddy. Because having the unmitigated gall to blame Sanders for your…

Fisher Stevens + Billy Crudup is a better amalgam.

Hire more women guards!!!

And the judges the GOP wants appointed get appointed. $716 billion bump to defense spending and the only thing we talk about is that it’s named after John McCain. Motherfuckin’ Neil Gorsuch. The GOP is running the board while the Great Cheeto flaps his thumbs on Twitter.

Whatever happened to gun control? Are we still talking about that?

Pa literally steals land from the natives.

She was a raging cunt and her daughter made up all the bits you actually like.

Dogs, however.

Could you at least proof read the first paragraph? 

Yes, it’s so nice to hear someone born rich say that you can have it all.

Congrats. You’ve chosen to raise your husband instead of another child.