Credentialed! Well, that clears Deadspin.

Tom Brady responded to the discovery, “Were they missing? I didn’t even know. I am a positive person.”

The Great Slide in the Grass

I’m gonna get out ahead of this:

I agree, we should probably not be apartheid of this conversation.

Boooooooo.

“keeping butler but trading jimmy”

Word is, this sudden health concern-related retirement resulted from a basic misunderstanding. DeMarcus asked for some career advice from his agent, who begged him to just fearlessly follow his true instincts.

Oddly enough my favorite in that series is “Tactics”.

So you’re saying the outlook isn’t looking good for a Hightower after encountering a Jet in New York?

It’s an NBA-style move that’s drawing comparisons to what Sam Hinkie did with The Process in Philadelphia.

I’d add another set just to be safe. That’s how he ended up in Houston. Carelessness.

“Fans Misled; Pop Warner Competition More Challenging Than Initially Thought”

Scene opens: A man, blonde, not too closely removed from an athletic life sips a bourbon out of a highball glass.

Liam Plunkett. If you call him a pitcher again, he’ll bowl one at your nuts, too.

This is important, thank you

Andy Murray “relax and giggle”?

Luis Enrique: If PSG can score 4 we can score 6.
Wenger: If they can score 5 we can score 1.

“At the end of the day, we just couldn’t walk away from mutual alliteration.”

—Buffalo Bills Personnel Person on sudden signing of Tyrod Taylor

One of the best comments in Deadspin history, and I'm a fan of both soccer and human life.