Amaranth is fucking gross. I was in the bulk aisle of WF getting some goddamn split peas for the soup I make, and there was some dude there with his girlfriend.

Pheidippides nutz.

My dog had the same eyelid surgery as Lisa. They actually had to remove the foreskin from his penis to create new eyelids. He is perfectly fine now, just a little cockeyed.

About 20 years ago, I was working at a car rental agency in an airport when the stars of the WWF show that night came rolling in. Hogan, Roddy, Macho Man, Bigelow....Anyways, they don’t even break character when renting cars. Roddy was acting like he got the best car of the bunch, Macho didn’t like what I was giving…

A monster, or Roger Clemens.

HORSHERS to that.

I thought you had to get to Mornington Crescent? Or is that only in the Adapted Dutchess of Kent Cricket-variant rules (1931-b)?

I thought the rule was you had reveal the magician by burying the pea in the flank of a swing man after you’ve been issued a physical challenge. Clear physical challenge here and, honestly, I was pretty sure Yelich was the designated magician. That wasn’t the case, but hindsight is 50/50. Reveal the magician with a…

All of you are going to make a comment about Theismann breaking his leg, but unlike you, I’m going to take the high road and say that Theismann is a fucking idiot.

SOURCE: St. Louis baseball fans want us to love gays and engage in premarital sex.

4,000 is the baby earth theory.

10:21 am BREAKING Cuban now driving through downtown San Antonio, looking for the place in the Mercado for fresh chorizo. CORRECTION: He is looking for Mexican sausage. CORRECTION TO THE CORRECTION: My sources are telling me chorizo IS Mexican sausage and that tweeting about sausage reveals subconscious homosexual…

Sounds like you need to work on your defensive rebounding!

I've decided that my new extreme end payment, similar to all the tea in China is "All the Dicks in Glory Hole Canyon"

We need a name that will be instantly recognizable as descriptive of the topic, but isn't currently being used in any significant way.

Jason even though you are an Unethical Game Journo Pros, (but mostly because you are a Man) I will be civil in the hopes of furthering polite discourse.

For one thing, you can strangle your enemy in an elevator and walk out with the murder weapon inconspicuously Windsor-knotted under your shirt collar.