The guy isn't stealing the Outbacks for scrapping, he just figured out that there are so many Subaru Outbacks in Portland that having master key is basically a meth-head Car2Go. he's just driving them from where he steals them to wherever he can buy drugs, dumping them, and stealing another for his next errand. He…

Also Portland's 'foodstands' which a) is just a place where any kind of food is cooked and b) not what Portlanders call 'food carts', or usually, just 'carts'.

Between Dame and the incomparable comic genius (for a professional athlete) of Robin Lopez, the Blazers easily have the strongest twitter game in the NBA.

There's no way Love leaves Cleveland after this year. He'd be crazy to do that. He'd be giving up playing with LeBron in the Leastern Conference, and he'll get his max deal, as I'm 100% sure that closed door meeting before he signed was the Cavs guaranteeing buckets of money forever. Or he could go struggle for the…

I got a 61-70% Jalopscore for my '81 300 TD a.k.a the White Boy Hoopty a.k.a the hipster lowrider. i have no idea if that's too high or too low.

We love the blazers down here but there's a reason Paul Allen built the rose garden with private money and the timbers have used private money for their renovations of civic stadium. We loooove raising our own taxes for schools and bike lanes but greedy billionaires can fuck the fuck right off. I'll burn my blazers…

It is indeed fantastic, and prompts me to ask, why is there no West Coast beer correspondent round these here parts? I've lived on both sides of the continent and parts between and the beer selection is incomparable out here. Plaid Pantry's have better beer selection in Portland than most fancy grocery stores out east.

TEH AUTHOR MADE A PERSONAL CHOICE NOT TO USE A RACIAL SLUR WHEN REFERRING TO A THING ENTIRELY UNRELATED TO ME. HAL HALP I'M BEING REPRESSED!

This is my favorite thing you write all year. The pathos, the whip-saw between guilt and desire, the bone deep self-loathing of comfortable white liberals. Soooo Good. fuck, I gotta go jerk off.

At least the English are honest and up front about subsidizing their oligarchs. Here we just yell about 'Messicans stealin' jobs so that dimwit car-salesmen who rode a wave of racial resentment to elected office can pass 'tax savings' on to your various Koch monsters or Walton ghouls.

Great point. I enjoy the filler missions because I'm a parent of a young child, and I don't always have 2 hours to spend playing one mission (like choosing mages v. templars). The fact that there will always be something, anything, to do has its appeal. I wish GTA V would have bulked this out. I finished everything…

I get the weird interaction targeting bug. I'll go to pick up loot and all the sudden my character is hopping around like an asshole. I've also had the game go completely silent twice now and the entry to the town of Redcliffe was blocked by a frozen Rift image that couldn't be interacted with. Luckily resetting has…

I keep a variety 30 pack (Thank the Gods for Costco) in my basement at all times for emergency parties.

I took it in college and had a 9 hour conversation with a chair on my porch about the nature of the universe. Beautiful truths were revealed, and then forgotten. But first you get to painfully puke your guts out for an hour or more.

I love Old Chub, and if you can ever get your hands on some (I think it's still pretty local), grab a tall boy of Fearless Brewing's Scottish Ale. It's the best Scotch/Wee Heavy ale I've ever had.