He’s a big C&H fan. He’d have seen through that one in a second, I’m afraid.

And look, internet hyperbole is one thing, but you are a really big tool.

Were your answers to those 3 questions, “you can do it anywhere,” “preferably,” and “that costs extra?”

I gotta agree with you here. Plus, kids should have things to look forward to when they grow up. Mine’s lobbying hard for MA-rated video games. No. Just no. I know he feels like waiting is killing him, but as an adult, I know better.

Right, but did you have the seemingly important present day woke activity of asking how he like to jerk off? You know, technique, porn preferences, equipment necessities?

Yeah! And what loving parent wouldn’t suggest that in a couple of years their then-14 year-old may find comfort in the bondage community!

I’d like an amazing gift card.

This is oddly reassuring, both about my prowess as a lover and a fighter.

Not to argue with a commenters mom on things, but ime you do have women who like porny type sex but it’s not every woman at all. I think what I heard was probably aimed at kids a little older who’d listen to any talk about porn and be fascinated.

He’s superb if what you really want is someone with nebulous authority to give you permission to indulge in your most narcissistic impulses.

“I thought about contacting a professionally trained child psychologist to help advise these parents on managing their preteen child’s increasingly intense bondage urges, but I decided it’d be more helpful — and more fun! — to talk to a BDSM porn star instead! Oh, and don’t look into your child’s window when returning…

I wish I had known this stuff about myself when I was 12. Would have made for a better bar-mitzvah wish list.

“Good Old days”

As the father of a 11 year old, I am not ready for this. I know my son is attracted to girls and I even know his type just from observing him but I really don’t want to know any more details. The amazing gift card seems like the best approach but I know he is equally likely to spend that on Pokémon cards or a switch…

 How dare you kink shame... uh, 12 year olds? (just beating someone else to this comment and actually being sincere about it first)

And that, right there, sums up why watching the trailer for Jojo Rabbit made me feel sick, and why I never want to watch it. To make the Nazis seem like something so easily conquered that love and laughter will do them in is infinitely ignorant. It’s like thinking that a good chuckle will make your pancreatic cancer…

I liked Glass because it was nothing like what everyone thought or wanted it to be.

Dude, you were so busy trying to diss Shyamalan I had to click on the link to see if the movies had titles. I don’t think snark adds to news at all. (And it’s use in reviews is strongly overestimated, being aimed largely at whoever isn’t in AVClub’s cool kids list.)

In its defense, it doesn’t help that your team sucks.

She was invited for racial click-bating that they wanted and that’s exactly what they got.