You should really fuck with them and put on some sort of historical docudrama like The King’s Speech or something instead, and get the double pleasure of watching something you’ll enjoy and hearing the sighs and screams of disappointed children.

“Look kids, I know you wanted Avengers, but this is educational and you’ll…

No you don’t.

The guy’s just an idiot. You think he looks at ratings on video games and movies and says, “What type of conservative bullshit is this?” when those rating systems were mostly dreamed up by conservative groups? The idea that the liberals have set themselves up as the sole gatekeepers of appropriate content and warning…

The internet is the guy who thinks the joke only gets funnier after the millionth and oneth time.

I tried to watch the new special last night, and I ended up turning it off pretty quickly. Looks like I missed out on the really unfunny stuff by turning it off during the merely mostly unfunny stuff.

look man, if they’re dead those are 3 less freeloading relatives to worry about when you hit the jackpot.

If this happened to me I’d be way more concerned with getting my past self the winning lotto numbers than any of that sappy “save my family” shit.

I’m starting to get the feeling this religion thing may be less about loving your neighbor and more about violently attacking anyone you don’t like.

Yeah, it burns out real quick, and the high just doesn’t last.

Amiright?

I think you’re confused about how human emotions work. In particular, the concept of “upset.”

I think you’re confused about how the English language works. In particular, the word “except.”

is it, like, a common thing for boomers to think the government should be controlled by authors and i’m just hearing about it now?

He’s the Dennis Rodman of comedy except without any of the actual talent.

Personally, as a person that is currently old, i don’t think Pete Davidson is an idiot because college kids don’t know when to turn off their phones. I think Pete Davidson is an idiot because he acts like an idiot, all the time.

He’ll always be Doobs to me:

how else am i supposed to distinguish between tall giants and short giants?

Also, droids get the right to vote.

James Brown, in particular, looks like it’s a lot of work. I’d be surprised if we see that.

all i have to do to reduce my son to a sobbing ball of terror is say, “you’re just like your old man, my boy.”

Don’t forget chew. They love some chewin’.