In the name of Prince, Rogers, and Nelson. Amen.

Aloe Vera.

“Like Jezebel, for instance, could say, based on a photo of literally anything, that we had obtained footage of a swamp beast that could very well be Ted Cruz crawling into a Louisiana town and indiscriminately stealing baby shoes.”

Me neither. Or her co-host. Or their show. Or his greener pastures over at GMA. Just don’t care about any of their endless nonsense.

“[B]ut damn, throw in a love song or something once in a while.” This, too, can lead to a different kind of scary place: Remember, way back, when U2 wasn’t the love song kind of band. Look what happened.

I’ve never seen it - or even hear of it before this - but it still made me laugh out loud. (Because gargoyles having anything to do with someone’s sexual development.)

In what way is this a shirt?

Yeah, no. Not even a little bit. In other words (and in no uncertain terms): complete and utter bullshit. Those people owe a great deal of money for a great many wrongs. But keep on with your stunt lawsuits while you keep illegally filming.

Asshole.

Is he going to pay top dollar for it, too, like the people who could scarely afford to were? Unlike them, he can afford it.

Even her attempt at shade is boring. The only person not aware of this is her, though.

“We’re putting ourselves on the line for what a lot of people across America[...]”

But they probably only seem “so yellow” because of how blindingly white most teeth are. Mine look downright mustard-colored, I’m sure.

Is no one immune to this bullshit? My God.

That’s a cheap joke, but still, I laughed.

Wow, you actually have a dentist that isn’t more interested in how much money they can squeeze out of you by exploiting a they-hope-insecurity. You’re lucky.

Don’t forget real bodies. Those are just as rare these days.

Not the Sweet Chariot corners.

I’ve never been banned from a bar. I feel that I’ve missed out somehow.

Thank you.