Because if everything was about straight, practical performance, there would only be two sports cars out there: the Corvette and the Miata. Then only two trucks, the Tacoma and F-150. Only two mid-size sedans, the Fusion and a 3-series, and so on and so on. Thankfully this is not the world we live in, because people…

Shit, so does “DJ-Type Human” god I’m good at this

Unfortunately, many owners are sure to read that as:

New! Improved! Now with less death!

Hey, Dr. Luke:

Dogs love car rides. Its too good to not implement. DO YOU HEAR ME ORLOVE?!?!

Except she has a very Muslim Albanian name.

If she’s Albanian and clearly not a Muslim one, I am going to put down five dollars that she as well as her family had problems with Muslims LONG before Trump came onto the scene. Like before 9/11 even happened. There is no love between Christians and Muslims in that area.

Oh — Emirjeta Xhelili? Of the Mayflower Xhelilis?

Pretty sure a lot of her fellow TYumrp idiots would see the name “Emirjeta Xhelili” (Albanian perhaps? definitely not MURRCAN) and think she’s the one in the hijab

For three decades, it has been preoccupied with looking for guns and explosives rather than for dangerous people.

This is stupid in the same sense that hating someone for their choice of Android over iPhone is stupid. I’m just going to assume that you drive a dented and dinged 2006 Camry. Every person I’ve seen in a Camry can’t drive for shit so... Even though I don’t know you, I’m going to go on my assumptions and say that you…

Hammer must have made a better headline.

You automatically judge people based on their choice of vehicle and can't even properly identify a Nissan with a giant logo on the back. I'm going to go with evidence points to you being a judgmental douchebag yourself.

Yeah I thought he was gonna get run over by the truck on that turn. Would have been sweet karma.

Wait... this writing style is familiar...IS DOG GHOSTWRITING FOR JALOPNIK NOW?!?!?!?!!?!?! Be still my beating heart.

And the only time we use them is in a vain attempt to ward off getting more pennies. “Oh crap, I hope I have 1 penny so I don’t get 4 pennies!” said the guy, scrambling at the drive-thru.

Yes. Vigilante justice only works in comic books. It’s not truck-bro’s responsibility to “teach a lesson” to a bad parker.

Jeep bro is setting a better example

People with compensation trucks and people with Corvettes are two of my very least favorite things, so I’m also going to go ahead and hate everyone involved.

If it wasn’t for Miami and Disney World, Florida would probably have invoked their own state-level annual Purges a long time ago.