This man can’t let anything go. That is why I’m convinced he wanted to run and win because of the White House correspondence dinner. That’s also why he wants to get rid of anything obama did.

It is a great failure of both capitalism and democracy that such an incompetent pissbaby manboy with no redeeming qualities at all could become a billionaire and president of the united states.

Just once I’d like this asshole to not be a fucking tool for an hour!

“Can you hear the drums, Fernando...?”

I always make sure to flush when I know someone is talking on their phone in the bathroom.

WHUT is wrong with people that they do that? Doesn’t the person on the other end hear our farts?

Honestly, at the moment it was the best laugh I’d had in aggggges. So you’re welcome.:D

I re-read this 4 times because it made me so happy and I kept imagining exactly what it looked like.

Oh God I needed that laugh. Thank you.

Once I was in the loo at the airport and I farted. A woman in another stall said loudly, “That’s disgusting! Who did that?”. I laughed so hard that I farted again and she declared, “I do not have to listen to this!” and stormed out.

My body knows when I am home and when I am not and poops accordingly. I am forever grateful for this. Also I don’t understand how it takes people time. That isn’t healthy! Get a squatty potty people. Will change your life.

I agree with you! Except:

A few months ago they remodeled the office bathroom and took out a stall. Now there’s a line half the time because there are so many women on this floor. By 4:00 PM we usually start running out toilet paper in some of the stalls. So I decided to try a bathroom on another floor and discovered they have MUSIC in the 3^rd…

Yes yes and yes.

So, theres a secret bathroom on my wing at work... it used to serve as a handicap bathroom when the unit was used as a patient area. When they turned it into an office area they never changed the lock BUT the admin and clinical staff were not given the key, were never told about it and just think it’s part of an old…

I confess I take perverse joy in loudly shitting when a certain coworker is in the restroom because she’s always ON HER FUCKING CELL PHONE HAVING CONVERSATIONS IN THE WOMEN’S RESTROOM. No. Fuck that. We have multiple perfectly good hallways to have that personal call in.

“If you’re at the mirror trying to pop the whitehead...” -

GO FOR IT. I’m telling you, the girl was skinny but had like a weirdly fat face and neck with really bad sag lines for someone in their early twenties. I try not to be lookist, but she’s a legit terrible person so all bets are off.

What about all the money they made off these “prank” videos? They only get probation and still reap all the monetary rewards? All the money made for these videos should be paid to those kids so they never have to rely on these to assholes for support again.

It’s kind of selfish - I get my baby fix holding sick infants who long for cuddles and allow my daughters to remain child free with no pressure.