On the left: Ashton Kutcher is giddy at the thought of waking up to Demi Moore every day.

@The Teufel Shuffle: Isiah's new job will be to update that page.

Julio Franco wants to borrow some of Miguel's Oil Of Olay.

Wonder how long it took Crystal Gayle to get that perm to take?

probably be where, that is.

@Lunatic Fringe: They will probably where all of the cats have 'mysteriously' disappeared to. And that would be a dish of General Tso's.

Ernie Banks would so kick your ass.

You sir are no Tony Kornheiser. Disapprove.

For some reason, that picture makes me think of Jesus hugging a disciple.

No one should have to walk the floor over you-whothahellisernesttubb

No team in the West should into a playoff game feeling like they have a hangover - melointhaclink

The Onion > The Washington Post

Quite the masochist, aren't we?

Vince McMahon can get RAW wrapped up quicker than the 5th and 6th innings of the Yanks/Sox game.

Somewhere, Brett Ratner is saying, 'This scene needs more explosions and naked chicks!'.

I would love to know if Michael Vick's fellow inmates will dress him up like a fire hydrant this Halloween.

@MitchKayak: Ken Griffey Jr. isn't injured yet and it's the middle of April? Well, how do you like that.

He is so jazzed because he scored better than Vince Young on his Wonderlic test.

I'll bet Carl Monday is all over this.

None of this would have happened if they had been eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts.